Training Tuesday: Not doing what I want to do…

So how are you doing taking care of your body?  I’m doing better than I was a few weeks ago… I’ve gotten back to running.  I’m still not back up to a 5k… but I will be!  My eating… well… I know what to do and what not to do, but knowing and doing seem to be two different things!  I feel like the Apostle Paul, “For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing” (Romans 7:19, 20)  I’m pretty sure he wasn’t talking about eating… but that seems to be my “evil”.

So I press on.  Confessing yesterday and praying for strength for today.  Tomorrow, I’ll ask for strength again, because I know I’ll need it.  Does it sound odd to you that I am spiritualizing food and eating?  I know some of you are saying, “Just eat the right things.”  “Just don’t eat the bad stuff.” “Just limit your portions.” “Just join weight watchers, or jenny craig, or LA weight loss, or just start atkins” Just, just, just.  I wish it was just that easy…

Honestly I think for me, it’s like telling a heroin addict to just stop using.  I’ve tried it on my own strength for 20 some years and it doesn’t work for more than a few months.  It has to be a spiritual issue / discipline for me.  There’s something in my heart that is holding onto eating and I know I need to surrender it to God.  But, “I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.”

So I press on.  Asking for God to show me what I’m holding onto.  Asking God to help me let go of it.  Asking God to help me not delight in brownies and chocolate and pizza and really any food that happens to be there, but to delight in Him, and my family, and the people around me.  And God says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, so I’m asking God for Christ’s strength.  And I do know that I will be victorious.  (I just pray that my victory comes on earth and that I don’t have to wait for my new heavenly body to be victorious!)

Do you struggle with food?  Do you have a different addiction/obsession?  Drugs? Alcohol? Shopping? Exercising in excess? Cutting? Escaping into TV? Cleaning? Gossiping?  Is there something that you don’t want to do, but you keep doing?  Or something that you want to do, but don’t?  I’m praying for you now as I’m praying for myself.  I hope you will join me in pressing on and allowing God to work on our heart and strengthen us to victory over that stronghold in our life.

♥Becki, imperfect eater

P.S.  I’m reading a book called “Thin Within” to help with my eating.  It really is an awesome read if food is a struggle for you.


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