Yesterday in the mail, I got an envelope from one of those organizations asking for donations.  I opened it, threw the letter out without reading it, and set aside the nice personalized return address labels and notepad they included as a gift for supporting them.

Now, I’ve never supported them, have no intention of supporting them in the future, but I didn’t want to just throw away those nice gifts!  But, I do have a little guilt about it… The organization is a great one, it’s just that we can’t give money to everyone.  And this is definitely the time of year that everyone asks.

Also yesterday, a couple of friends and I were having a discussion about how we respond when people on the street ask for money.  We talked about not trusting what the money would be used for and therefore not wanting to give it.  As a Christian, both of these situations trip me up.  Jeff and I are giving people, we give to the church and we have some organizations that we give to.  We try to help friends either with money or meals when we can.  But we also say, “No” to more organizations than we give to.  We say, “No” to people on the street.  It makes me wonder what Jesus would want us to do…

⁴² For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, ⁴³ I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

   ⁴⁴ “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

   ⁴⁵ “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ (Matthew 25)

I know that Jesus does not expect me to be everyone’s “problem fixer”.  I know that Jesus does not expect me to be able to feed everyone.  But I then think back to when Jesus fed the crowd in Matthew 15.

 ³² Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat. I do not want to send them away hungry, or they may collapse on the way.”

 ³³ His disciples answered, “Where could we get enough bread in this remote place to feed such a crowd?”

   ³⁴ “How many loaves do you have?” Jesus asked.

   “Seven,” they replied, “and a few small fish.”

 ³⁵ He told the crowd to sit down on the ground. ³⁶ Then he took the seven loaves and the fish, and when he had given thanks, he broke them and gave them to the disciples, and they in turn to the people. ³⁷ They all ate and were satisfied. Afterward the disciples picked up seven basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. ³⁸ The number of those who ate was four thousand men, besides women and children.

Just as I think I don’t have enough money to help everyone I come in contact with, the disciples didn’t think they had enough food for the crowd.  But Jesus took the 7 loaves and fish and fed 4000 men and an uncounted number of women and children.  So, is it possible if I gave something, no matter how small – even $1, to everyone who asks, that God could multiply it in the same way?

I don’t have any answers for you, my friends.  I’m just sharing something that trips me up – because like I said, in my human eyes, I know I can’t help everyone… but I also know that when I read through the gospels, Jesus didn’t turn people away.  So how can I?  I don’t want to hear Jesus say to me, “I was hungry but you did not feed me.”  How do I know that I’m doing “enough”?  Not for salvation – because I know that’s through Jesus’ blood on the cross and not from my works… But enough that when I stand before Jesus, He will say:

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶ I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

   ³⁷ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹ When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

   ⁴⁰ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ (Matthew 25)

So that’s what’s twirling around in my brain right now… Like I said, I have no answers, just thoughts.  I’d love to hear yours – let’s make it a discussion!

♥Becki, imperfect giver

P.S. if you have friends that you’d like to include in this conversation, please click on one of the buttons below ↓to share this with them!

What super power would you want to have?  As a mom of 3 boys, we have many discussions about superheroes and their powers.  My boys would like to be super strong.  When they ask me, I usually say I wish I could fly.  But deep down I really wish I had some type of force field that I could activate whenever needed and no one or no sound would be able to break through.

When would I use this power? (Although if you are a mom, I’m guessing you really don’t need to ask.)  Picture the phone ringing – force field up!  Picture a hot cup of coffee or tea – force field up!  Picture a throbbing head – force field up!  And of course, picture going to the bathroom – force field up!

Sometimes I yearn for solitude with no one pressing in on me.  I know (because I’m constantly reminded by those older than me) that this season in life is fleeting.  I know I should savor each hug and snuggle on the couch.  I know there may be a day when my kids wished I didn’t exist instead of wanting me every 2 minutes.  But despite this knowledge, some days I am just tired and oh so weary and I feel like I have nothing left to give – not even a hug.

Jesus said, “Come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest.”  I recently read an article where the author compared Jesus’ life to that of a mom’s life.  I wish I could find it to give the author credit, but I can’t.  Anyway, the author told about how everywhere Jesus went crowds followed him and pressed into him.  When Jesus fed the 5000 he originally was going off to a solitary place with just the disciples for some rest.  He had just learned that John the Baptist was beheaded and wanted to be alone.  But the crowds saw them and ran to where he was.  Jesus had compassion on them and started teaching them and then fed them.  How many times do I intend to have some solitude only to have children following me and then I end up doing something for them?  Definitely more than I can count.  Later that night, he dismissed the crowds and sent his disciples away in a boat, went up on a mountain alone and prayed.

While on the mountain, the disciples in the boat were struggling against a heavy wind.  Jesus saw the disciples straining but did not immediately go to them.  The bible says just before dawn he walked out to the disciples and calmed the storm.  (This was when he walked on water.)  I love that Jesus didn’t immediately go, that he continued to take time to be alone.  As a mom, that is music to my ears.  I don’t need to feel guilty that I desire time alone.  Instead, Jesus shows me that it is important.   So I have been known to “plug my boys in” to the TV or drop them off at a friend’s so I can take 30 minutes to curl up on the couch with a cup of coffee and the Bible or a good book.  Then I am ready to go back to wiping noses (and other body parts), talking about super heroes, getting drinks, folding laundry…

So whether you are a mom or not, I’m sure you have life pressing in on you.  Mine happens to be in the form of a 5, 7, and 10-year-old.  But yours may be in the form of co-workers, friends, responsibilities, finances… How do you find rest when you are weary?

♥Becki

P.S.  Read Matthew Chapter 14 yourself to see what happened in God’s words instead of mine.  Click here to go to BibleGateway.com

This past week has involved a lot of drama… Drama from me as I yelled at my kids over little things because I was extra busy.   Drama from my kids as they, sensing my attitude, seemed to yell at each other.  Drama from various women as they are “fighting” with other women, and for various reasons I was consulted as a judge, moderator or consoler.  So all this drama has really made me examine our interactions.

In doing so, I was reminded of a Bible Verse that my oldest son and I had memorized several years ago as he was struggling with his reactions to some peers who were making him angry.  They would say things to him that they knew would get him mad just to get a reaction.  Things like, “Oh look, here’s the book you should get.”  That was said at a school book swap while pointing to a Dora book – the message to a third grade boy of course being that “You are a baby.”  How did my son respond?  He yelled at them and then began ripping the book.  (Sounds extreme, I know but remember he does have asperger’s, and these were boys that often ridiculed him to get him to react.)  So, anyway there was a lot of that going on.  During that time, I had stumbled upon this Bible Verse:

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

We talked a lot about how the word “answer” implies that this is talking about how we respond to others around us.  The word “wrath” implies that the others already are angry for whatever reason.  So the question is, do we want to turn that wrath away or stir it up?  My son and I have spent hours rehearsing responses to various situations… ways to offer a gentle answer.  “You know what?  My 3-year-old brother would love that book, thanks for showing it to me!”

I wish I could say that he has learned to always offer a gentle answer… it is still a working process.  But on those occasions that he does, the situation is definitely diffused.  And in remembering the verse this week, I’m convicted of the tone of my voice when I respond to my children’s behavior.  “A gentle answer turns away wrath.”  When I am calm and clear, the situation usually doesn’t escalate.

I also think that we as adults need to remember this for our interactions with each other (both face to face and through email) as well.  Let’s remember to respond with “gentle answers” instead of “stirring up anger.”

“I don’t have to get any shots, right?”  A few weeks ago I took my 7-year-old for his doctor well visit, and of course my son’s fear was that he was going to have to get a shot.  Almost 11 years ago, I thought there was nothing worse than having to hold your baby down while the nurse gave them a shot.  It was me they saw when the pain came.  I was the one holding them.  I was the one not protecting them from the pain.  But I’ve learned there are worse things than that: having to hold your 7-year-old down.  Now, not only are you the one that they see when the pain comes.  You are the one that they are begging to save them from what they know is coming.  You are the one that has to say, “No” this is important.

Why do I hold my children and not give in to their pleas to not get a shot?  Because I know that getting immunized is important both for their health and for the community’s health.  (If you are someone who is anti-immunization – stay with me for the analogy to come, you’ll get it even if you disagree on the merits of immunization…)  Could I have saved them from it?  Yes.  I could have said, “No” to the nurse, taken my son by the hand, and left.  But I didn’t.  I allowed that pain in his life and said no to his begging to not have to endure it, because I saw the big picture.  He didn’t.

Sometimes instead of removing their pain, I hold them through it, I hug them, I cry with them, and I keep them safe.  If I do that for my children in my limited earthly wisdom, how much more must an all-knowing, all-loving, perfect, sovereign God do that for us.

When my oldest was 3 he went through a stage where everyday he asked for ice cream for breakfast.  I would reply, “No.” and get him something healthier to eat.  He knew that ice cream tasted good and that he would really enjoy eating it.  I knew that his body needed something with more nutrition to start the day.  I heard his request, I met his need (that he was hungry) but not the way he wanted.  Again, if I do that for my children in my limited earthly wisdom, how much more must an all-knowing, all-loving, perfect, sovereign God do that for us.  (By the way, he asked everyday, because occasionally in my imperfect mothering I would give in because you know what that sounded good, and I wanted some too.  So he was persistent in asking because today might be the day she says yes… that part of the analogy doesn’t extend to our perfect God.)

Today as I was reading Beth Moore’s Praying God’s Word, I was reading/praying in a section on overcoming unbelief.  One of Beth’s prayers got me thinking about all of this, so I’ll end quoting her:

“Dear Jesus, You told Your close followers, who were taught how to seek the Father’s heart, that whatever they asked for in prayer they were to believe they received it and it would be theirs.  (Mark 11:24) O, Father, help me to know Your heart intimately so that I’ll know how to pray, and believe in advance that I will receive it!”  (emphasis mine)

♥Becki

My soon to be 11-year-old is at that awkward age of thinking he’s too old for some things that I believe he secretly still likes.  Take holding my hand for example.  When we are walking, whether in the parking lot, in a store, down the street, he shakes away my hand if I try to hold his.  However, often as he’s walking next to me, he’ll reach up and take hold of my hand, only to later seem to realize what he did and abruptly let go.  How a mother’s heart hurts when a child shakes away her grasp.

As I sat down to type today’s post, I was going to write about something in Galatians, but wasn’t exactly sure how to say what I wanted to say.  But then I looked down at my mousepad that I had made for free last year when I was ordering other things for my MOPS group from Vista Print.  The MOPS verse at the time was “Even there, Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast.” (Psalm 139:10) So, I had a mousepad made with the verse on it and pictures of my boys to remind myself that “Even there” in the midst of my mothering, God was guiding me.  Anyway, as I looked at it, I thought about my oldest shaking my hand away and here we are…

When I think of that verse and God holding my hand, I think of the various reasons that I hold my boys’ hands.  1.  I hold them out of affection.  2.  I hold them to direct where they are walking.  3.  I hold them to keep them with me so they don’t get lost.  4.  I hold them to keep them going too fast, or too slow.  5.  I hold them to keep them safe – so that a car doesn’t hit them or so that no one steals them away.

So, when I read in that verse that God’s holding my hand, I’m pretty sure He’s doing it for the same reasons.  1.  He loves me.  When you read through the Bible, you find to be at God’s right hand, is to be at a place of honor.  2.  He wants to guide me.  So often I’m not sure how to handle situations, or what choice to make, but if I cling to God’s hand through prayer and reading the Bible, I can feel his guiding me more and more.  3.  He desires that I stay with Him and not wander away or get “lost”.  4.  When I’m clinging to Him He keeps me from going too fast (worrying about tomorrow) or going too slow (not doing what He’s asking me to do).  5.  He keeps me safe and protects me.  Running off on my own can result in getting hit by all kinds of cars (consequences of my sins) or being “stolen away” by things in this world.

These all sound like great reasons to cling to God’s hand.  But, like my son, I often find myself shaking it off, by ignoring reading the Bible, by not praying, by pressing on in my own wisdom and strength instead of His.  Does God’s heart hurt when I do that like mine does when my son pulls away?  But here’s the thing… when my son tries to pull away, I will often let him.  If it’s a matter of safety or discipline, I do not… especially when they are young.  But as they’ve gotten older, I don’t force them to hold my hand.  But, whenever that almost 11-year-old hand reaches up to take mine, you better believe that my hand is there and I hold on and give it a little extra loving squeeze.  And I know that whenever I reach up to cling to God’s hand it is there holding on to mine and giving it a little extra loving squeeze.

♥Becki

Last week a friend was talking about her daughter learning to say, “I love you.”  She told about how exciting and cute it was.  As a mom, hearing those words from your child are even better than the first time they say, “Mom” or “Mama” or “Mommy” or whatever they call you.  And better yet is when they say it spontaneously because they just can’t help but to say it instead of simply parroting it back to you.  Those are moments that we treasure.

On Sunday I almost missed an opportunity for my boys to tell me they love me.  We were at A.C. Moore getting some craft stuff.  At one point, I looked at my 7-year-old and he had something behind his back.  He told me he wanted to buy something but I couldn’t see it.  As a frugal, non-indulgent mom, I wanted to say no.  But something told me to give him some money and let him go buy it.  So, not even knowing the price, I gave him a ten and he headed to the register (walking backwards so I couldn’t see what he was holding).  As we were in the van, he asked if I had a pen.  I told him to wait until we got home and I gave him a sharpie.  After a few secretive moments with his 5-year-old brother in their room, I was rewarded with this wooden heart:

It wasn’t my birthday, it wasn’t mother’s day, I didn’t even do anything particularly special.  But he saw a heart and had a vision of how to tell me he loved me.   There’s not many mothering moments that can top that feeling!

I used to wonder why God didn’t just make us love him.  I mean it has to be hard to see the people you created, the people you love, the people you sacrificed your son for… turn away from you, reject you, despise you, hate you. Why didn’t he just made us like robots with no choice but to love Him?  But then I became a Mom, and I heard my children say those awesome words, “I love you.”  I heard them say those words because they meant them.  And I knew.  I knew why God gave us the choice.

There’s definitely a difference between your children saying, “I love you” because you say it to them and saying it because they really, really mean it.   They love us because we have shown them what love is and they can’t help but respond to it.  I think that’s what God was talking about when He said through the Apostle John,  “We love because he first loved us.”  (1 John 4:19)  

And God does love us.  “Nothing can ever – no, not ever! – separate us from the Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love of God he showed us in Jesus!” (The Jesus Storybook Bible, 340)

♥Becki

Yesterday, one of my Facebook friends posted an unusual prayer request:

Praying friends: in the last few hours we’ve run into some challenges with our move (some more expensive than others). Please pray for us to choose to be kind, gentle and loving… even when dealing with poor customer service…

Usually the prayer requests that I read on Facebook are for illnesses and injuries of loved ones.  When I read them, my heart breaks and I pray immediately.  But this prayer request gave me pause.  I had to read it several times.  Why did it stick out so much?  Did you notice the request?  My friend, Sarah, didn’t ask that we pray that everything would work out, that the “challenges” would disappear or smooth over.  Her heart was that she and her husband would “choose to be kind, gentle and loving… even when dealing with poor customer service”. (emphasis mine)

I’m reading Galatians now, and like I did with Philippians, I am reading the whole book everyday until I feel like I really know it.  Today as I was reading Chapter 6, I thought back to Sarah’s prayer request.

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good.  At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.  Therefore whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone – especially to those in the family of faith.”  (6:9-10)

Doing what is good… “choose to be kind, gentle and loving”.  Sarah was definitely wanting to do what is good.  But she knew that it didn’t always come easy, which is why she was asking for her friends to pray that they wouldn’t give up.  Because let’s face it… we all know how hard it is to be kind when we feel like we are wronged by some company/business/worker or when we feel frustrated by their policies and the lack of sympathy/kindness we receive from them.

This is an area that I personally struggle with… I get very haughty and self-righteous and demand my own way, because of course, I’m always right.  But here’s the thing, even if I am right, I still need to “choose to be kind, gentle and loving”.  I have to decide if the “injustice” is worth pursuing, and if it is how to handle it in a way that I am still “doing what is good”.

I love the promise from God in verse 9, “At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”  Although, I’ll admit, I wish it said “At the time we want…” instead of “the right time” because God and I usually have different definitions of “the right time”… although, I know His is always best…

So as I prayed for Sarah, I prayed the same for me.  (And since God usually puts me to the test when I pray things, I’m expecting some lousy customer service soon!)

♥Becki, imperfect customer

P.S.  Sarah and I became friends at Penn State.  Living a Christian life was new to me, and I always admired Sarah and the way she was able to express her thoughts about God and life.  I still do, if you want to read some of her thoughts, check out her blog:  http://www.EversFam.com/

“For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience,  and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.  For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.  For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation—” (Colossians 1:9-22)

I almost didn’t post anything today, because I’m not feeling particularly inspired or spiritual to post on Wednesday’s Wisdom From the Word.  I’m having one of those “foggy” days… where I’d rather crawl back into bed then think.  I’m not sick, but my eyes want to close and my thoughts aren’t all that coherent.  So, like I said, I wasn’t going to post.

But, today I read the above passage from Colossians and I love it.  I really wanted to have something great to say about it… but I have nothing.  So, today, I’m thinking the words of God are more than enough.  Go back, reread them and let God speak to your soul.  (He’s a much better writer than I am.)

♥Becki, imperfect writer 🙂

“God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.”  How often have you heard that?  It can be a comforting thought, but you know what?  I’ve read the Bible cover to cover, and I haven’t found that said anywhere in it.  (I could be wrong… and if I am, I would love to be corrected, because I’d like to believe it’s true.)  The verse that I think this is referring to is in 1 Corinthians 10:13: “And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”  So God said that we wouldn’t be tempted more than we can handle.  He didn’t say this world wouldn’t be filled with problems, hurts, illnesses, and hardships that are more than we can handle.

I have a friend who is also a mom of 3 boys.  She is currently going through something that I don’t know how I’d be able to handle, and to be honest I hope I don’t ever have to find out.  She has been bravely and inspirationally fighting the cancer battle.  Earlier this week, the doctors advised that it was time to stop the treatments, and she began hospice care.

How does a mom say goodbye to her school age boys?  How does a wife say goodbye to her husband?  How do those left behind thank God for the time they had with her without getting angry about the time they won’t?  That definitely is more than anyone can handle.   But then I look at how she and her husband are walking through this season and I am in awe.  If you ask how, they will point to Jesus.

I believe God allows us to have more that we can handle pressing in on us, because He doesn’t want us to handle it.  He wants us to turn to Him, to allow Him to carry us through.  And that is what my friend has done, still with a sparkle in her eye (and on her fingers, and around her neck, and her wrists… she sells jewelry and didn’t stop during her treatments because of the joy it brings her and those around her.)

God tells us He is “close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)  He also tells us “In this world we will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome.”  (John 16:33)  And that is what I hold on to when I have trouble… Jesus has overcome, even if we only experience that victory in eternity.  Because whatever we are facing in this world, no matter how hard, how crushing, how devastating, Jesus will carry us through if we let Him.

(I tried to attach one of Jeff’s songs to this post so that it would play as you were reading it, but I’m not at home and the internet connection here is so slow and keeps kicking me off, so it didn’t work.  So, I have to attach a link instead… I love this song.  It’s called Brokenhearted and Jeff wrote it based on Psalm 34.)

http://www.reverbnation.com/artist/artist_songs/354369

If you are going through something right now in which you are brokenhearted… know that I am praying for you as I am typing and that Jesus desires to carry you through it.  Please let him.

♥Becki, imperfect, brokenhearted woman, carried by perfect tenderhearted God