All posts by Becki

Mothering Monday: The night before school.

a. Mothering Monday

It’s 8:16 pm, and school starts tomorrow.  My soon to be second and fourth graders are excited.  They’ve showered.  They are chatting away in bed before we tuck them in and give the “Lights out, no more talking” command.   The Phillies backpacks are packed with new and recycled school supplies.  Sure, they LOVE summer.  But they also LOVE school. So for them, tonight is a good night.

For my soon to be seventh grader, not so much!  We’ve had several rounds of tears this past week.  We’ve heard all about the evils of school and why he hates it so much.  We’ve battled the summer math packet, but ignored the summer reading list.  (He loves to read, just not what he’s told to read.)  He’s in the shower right now, and neither he, nor Jeff and I, are looking forward to bed time for him.  Because in his mind, the sooner he falls asleep, the sooner he has to wake up and go to school.

Because my younger two thrive academically, socially, and behaviorally at school, I understand the parents who say they can’t wait for summer to end and school to begin.  I understand craving the routine, and not hearing, “I’m bored.”  I get it, really I do.

But, unless you have a child with school issues, you may not understand the knot that forms in a mom’s stomach when she thinks of school.  You may not understand the tears wept and the prayers prayed that hopefully this will be a good year.  You may not understand the fear felt when the phone rings and caller ID tells you it is the school calling … and not because you are worried that your child is sick or hurt, but because you really do not want to hear what he did now.

I’ll be honest, I wish just as much as he does that I could tell him he didn’t have to worry about school.  I hate it for him just as much as he hates it.  But for the next 6 years, he still has to go.  And so I pray:

God, please be with my son this year.  Please help him to find joy in his days at school and not to be angry.  Please help him to be surrounded by students that will encourage him and build him up and drown out the voices of any students who may want to tear him down.  Please help his new support teacher “get” him and know the best ways to help him.  Please give the teachers an extra dose of patience and love for him.  Please give him an extra dose of kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control for them.  Please help him to find his words and his voice when he needs it, and help him to keep his mouth closed when he needs to.

God I am worried.  I am trying to trust in you with my son.  But still I worry.  Help me to trust you.  Help him to trust you.  Help us both to cast all of our fears, anxieties, and worries on you, so that you can fill us with your peace.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  (Philippians 4:6-7)

Are you worried about your child and school?  Do you know that knot in your stomach?  Have you shed more than your share of tears?  Know that I understand.  I stand with you.  I am praying now for you.  And together we will press on!

And thankfully, I get to share the journey with a wonderful, wise man.  Here are the words he wrote about the start of school:

As we are on the eve of another new school year… here’s what I (Jeff Kerchner) want my own children and my students to know:

1. Be kind and respectful… treat the other students and adults who work at the school the way you want them to treat you.

2. Try your best.

3. If you remember and put into practice #1 and #2, I will be incredibly proud of you no matter what grades you receive, and you can be proud of yourself.

4. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes; instead learn from them and move on.

5. Don’t be afraid to try new things; use those opportunities to find out what you like.

6. Being popular is over-rated, and many people you think are popular often feel just as unsure about themselves as you do.

7. Don’t compare yourself to others.

8. Don’t give up if you aren’t good at something right away.

9. Practice getting along with others; this skill is a much better predictor of your future success than any test score.

10. If you need help with anything please ask for it, and don’t feel embarrassed… everyone needs help, and every school has people who truly want to help you.

11. You are not alone.

12. There are other people who can and do understand how you are feeling.

13. This time of your life will not last for long, and you will make it through…

14. … and as you go, remember that you are loved…

Pressing on Together,

♥Becki

P.S.  I know it’s been a crazy long time since I posted anything.  I’m not sure if I still have any readers, it’s been so long.  But as part of my new year’s resolution (because we all know that the start of the school year is really the new year), I plan on writing again.  If you’ll read, I’d love to meet you here Monday through Friday.

Wednesday’s Wisdom from the Word (and the shower)

c. Wednesday's Wisdom from the Word

Are you like me?  Do you regularly have to clean hair out of your hairbrush?

When you wash your hair, do your fingers end up entwined with hair that has come out?  Do you then rub it off onto the shower wall for lack of something better to do with it?  Is cleaning hair out of your shower drain a disgusting job?  At any point in the day, do you run your hand through your hair only to have multiple strands come out?  Are you constantly taking pieces of hair off of your clothing?  I answer yes to all of these questions, and it’s not for any health issues.  It’s just my normal “shedding”.

I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m talking about shedding hair.  Well, the other morning as I was in the shower taking the hair off of my fingers and then rubbing it on the wall, I started thinking about God.  Are you curious why the hair made me think about God? (Oh, and don’t worry, when I get out of the shower, I take the hair off the wall and throw it into the trash … well, usually I do.)

The Bible says, “Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered.  Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.”  (Luke 12:7, ESV)  Matthew 10:30 has the same basic sentiment in it.

So, when I was in the shower looking at all the hair in my hand, I started thinking about how often my hair comes out.  If all of the hairs are numbered, then the number is constantly changing throughout the day.  And that means that I am constantly on God’s mind!  If he stops thinking of me for one moment, he’d miss like 5 pieces falling out!

Some people think of God as being a more hands off type of God.  They believe the idea of God creating everything, but not with him being involved in their every moment (kind of like he wound up the world and then stood back and let it run).  But I believe the Bible when it says “even the hairs on (my) head are numbered,” and so I believe that I am constantly on God’s mind because he values and loves me.  Do you believe the hairs on your head are numbered?  Do you believe that you are always on God’s mind because he values and loves you.  Well, I’ll tell you, whether you believe it or not … you are, and he does!

Pressing on together,

♥Becki

 

Mothering Monday: Holiday shop

a. Mothering Monday

This week is the Holiday Shop at school.  So of course, my boys will be asking me to give them money.  The night before they’ll list out who they will be shopping for.  I’ll give them the money.  They’ll take the money to school and pick out presents for each person on the list.  They then bring them home and hide them until Christmas.  At that time, they are so proud and delighted to give their gifts.  Of course that means we all receive dollar store junk inexpensive presents lovingly picked out for us.  And I am delighted to receive them.

Thinking of this always reminds me of an excerpt from C.S. Lewis’s Mere Christianity.

Click here to see the book on Amazon

Then comes another discovery. Every faculty you have, your power of thinking or of moving your limbs from moment to moment, is given you by God. If you devoted every moment of your whole life exclusively to His service you could not give Him anything that was not in a sense His own already. So that when we talk of a man doing anything for God or giving anything to God, I will tell you what it is really like.

It is like a small child going to its father and saying, “Daddy, give me sixpence to buy you a birthday present.” Of course, the father does, and he is pleased with the child’s present. It is all very nice and proper, but only an idiot would think that the father is sixpence to the good on the transaction.  When a man has made these two discoveries (For the first discovery, C.S. Lewis talked about no one being good enough.) God can really get to work. It is after this that real life begins.

(Taken from Mere Christianity, Book 3 “Christian Behaviour”, Chapter 11 “Faith”)

Just as I give my boys the ability to buy me presents, God gives me the ability to serve and love him, and he will give me everything I need to do so.  Since the boys are using my money to get me gifts, I’m not any richer.  And since everything I am and everything I have comes from God, He’s not necessarily any richer either by my acts.  But just as I am delighted by the dollar store mugs and ornaments and brushes that they pick out for me, God is delighted when I choose to use what he has given me to do anything or give anything to him.

Anyway, that’s what I always think about when my boys ask for money to do their shopping.  It’s been awhile (probably at least 17 years) since I read Mere Christianity … as I was looking for the quote, I found myself being drawn in.  I’m thinking I should check it out again.  But as good as C.S. Lewis’ writing is, I have to really pay attention when reading it, and lately, I find myself falling asleep whenever I read.  So, perhaps I’ll wait.

By the way, remember the song, “Kiss Me” by Sixpence None the Richer?  It was popular several years back.  Anyway, the band got their name from this passage.  Sixpence was one of my favorite bands in college.  I especially loved the song, “Trust”.  (Click here to go to YouTube to see an old performance of Leigh Nash from Sixpence singing Trust.) Just a little random trivia for your Monday!

Pressing on Together, one “sixpence” at a time,

♥Becki

Friends and Family Friday: Who are your Elizabeths?

f. Friends and Family Friday

Usually at about 6:00, the Kerchners find ourselves sitting at our dinner table getting ready to eat.  Typically, we only pray before eating.  But this week, we’ve been doing our advent reading first.  In my mind, this seemed like the perfect family moment, but getting them to sit nicely and quietly and not touch their food while we read our passage may be a little ambitious for my family of 3 hungry, growing boys.  (By the way, we use this felt tree with ornaments that we pin on it each day for our advent calendar.  I posted about it last year, you can check it out here.)

Anyway, the other night we read about the angel appearing to Mary and then Mary visiting her cousin Elizabeth.  The angel came to Mary and told her that she was going to have a baby.  She questioned how that could be because she was a virgin.  The angel told her about the Holy Spirit coming upon her, but also added something that is easy to ignore.

“Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God.” (Luke 2:36-37)

The angel was basically saying, look at the miracle of Elizabeth getting pregnant, if God can do that, He can also do what he’s promised to you, Mary.  The very next part is about Mary visiting Elizabeth.  It’s awesome that when Mary walked in, Elizabeth’s baby in the womb, who was John the Baptist, “leaped for joy” (Luke 2:44).  The idea here being that John the Baptist while still in the womb recognized the presence of his Lord, also still in the womb.  Pretty cool.

But as we were reading it, that’s not what stood out to me.  Instead, I was struck by how much God knows a women’s heart.  He knew that 14 year-old Mary would need a friend.  He knew that most people would condemn, ridicule, and gossip about her – a pregnant, unwed woman.  He knew that the tender-hearted woman would need the encouragement and joy that would come from a friend who believed her.  And I think that’s why the angel told Mary about Elizabeth.  So she would go to her.

I thought of how many women God has placed in my life to encourage and uplift me through various seasons.  When my oldest was falling apart in school and also started having seizures.  He put my friends Christine and Emily in my life.  Christine held my hand and walked me through the school issue.  Emily gave me confidence and assurance through the seizures.  When Jeff and I were having some marital issues, he gave me my friend Deanna to go and cry to.  When I was at my end and crying out about my obesity he gave me support, encouragement, and inspiration from Susan, Jen, and Justine.

I could go on and on, because truly God has given me so many “Elizabeths”.  Thank you God for putting them in my path.  Thank you, my “Elizabeths”, for your love and support and encouragement.

Do you have Elizabeths in your life?  I’m praying you do and that you would go to them when needed.  Notice, Elizabeth did not come to Mary, Mary went to her!  I’m also praying that we would all be someone else’s Elizabeth when the time comes.  Because after all, Elizabeth opened the door to Mary and embraced and welcomed her into her home for 3 months!

Pressing on Together,

♥Becki

Thursday’s Thoughts on Home: Giving a boy a home

d. Thursday's Thoughts on Home

Do you ever go into your sleeping children’s rooms and linger while watching them sleep?

I know it’s a common parental thing to do.  But to be honest, I rarely do it.  My oldest son has never been a good sleeper.  As a baby, when he’d finally fall asleep after an hour of rocking him, you never knew if he’d sleep for 15 minutes or 5 hours. (Rarely would it be longer than 5 hours!)  So once he was sleeping, there was no way I was going to go into the room and risk waking him!

Anyway, 12 years and 2 good sleepers later and I still don’t watch them sleep.  But the other night I did.  They looked so peaceful.  I remembered our night-time prayers, thanking God that we were a family and for our home.  And my thoughts strayed to a little boy named Jack.

Jack is a 5th grader in Eastern Europe.  His story is heart-breaking.  Many families have tried to adopt him, but for various reasons (click here to read the full story) it has always fallen through.  There is a family now that is in the process of adopting him, but is lacking the funds to do so.

I learned about Jack through some good friends of ours.  They were hoping to adopt him, but when she became pregnant they became ineligible.   But Jack was still heavy on their hearts.  So they have focused on fundraising specifically to finance Jack’s adoption.  Being musically minded, the husband, Dave, decided to record a Christmas CD to sell.  Having several musically talented friends – including my husband, he recruited their help.  And what he put together is fantastic!  I would recommend it to you to add to your Christmas music collection even if it didn’t help Jack.

But, bonus!  If you purchase the entire album, or even some of the songs, you help Jack get a family and a home!  No more living in an institution seeing the younger children getting adopted while he’s left behind.  And hopefully someday soon, his new parents can linger in his new bedroom watching him sleep peacefully.  How amazing will that be for them and for him!

The album is entitled “Hopeful” and I am hopeful that this will be the last Christmas Jack spends without a family.  The group that came together to make the album called themselves “Pure Religion” from James 1:27 “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”  Check it out.  Buy the album.  Spread the word.  Share this post on Facebook or twitter or whatever.  Help Jack get a home!  Thank you.

CD Baby – http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/purereligion

iTunes – http://tinyurl.com/catkjpa

Google play – http://tinyurl.com/cuj98kr

Enjoy it!  (By the way, Jeff sings Angels from the Realm of Glory, Ode to Joy, and Angels We Have Heard on High.)

Pressing on Together,

♥Becki

↓↓Don’t forget to hit the share button below to get the word out↓↓

Wednesday’s Wisdom from the Word: The nine

c. Wednesday's Wisdom from the Word

Do you remember growing up when an adult had to sit you down and give you a good “talking to” because you were doing something wrong?  Now, I’m not talking about being yelled out, shamed, or being made to feel small.  I’m talking about an adult lovingly and patiently pointing out what was wrong with your behavior and what you needed to do to correct it.

Well today, at 39 years of age, I had one of those talking to’s.  The words were spoken with kindness, but firmness.

I was rebuked – not shamed.
I was humbled – not belittled.
I was forgiven – not cast off.
I was loved – not despised.

So who gave me this sit down, talking to?  God – through his word.

If you read yesterday’s post, you’ll remember that I confessed not been spending time with God.  So, after I exercised, I purposefully turned on the Chris Tomlin Worship channel on Pandora.  As I went about my morning routine, I sang praises to God.  I also sang choruses such as “Oh how He loves us, Oh how He loves us, Oh how He loves you and me.”  It definitely started out my day focused on Him.

As a result, I found myself seeking God out more through the day, whether it was through prayer or thinking about scripture.  My heart definitely felt lighter and it was good!

When I came home from work, I read from Lisa Whelchel’s “The Busy Mom’s Guide to Bible Study.” In it, I read the story of the ten lepers who were healed.

On the way to Jerusalem he was passing along between Samaria and Galilee.  And as he entered a village, he was met by ten lepers, who stood at a distance and lifted up their voices, saying, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.” When he saw them he said to them, “Go and show yourselves to the priests,” And as they went they were cleansed.  Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and he fell on his face at Jesus’s feet, giving him thanks.  Now he was a Samaritan.  Then Jesus answered, “Were not ten cleansed?  Where are the nine?  Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?” And he said to him, “Rise and go your way; you faith has made you well.”  (Luke 17:11-19)

At first when I read it, nothing really stuck out to me.  I took it as a reminder to thank God – but I’ve known that so it was nothing revolutionary.  And so I went about my day.

Later, my family and I went to the Y.  We all ran on the track for a little bit, then Jeff took the boys down to the pool.  I stayed at the track to keep running.  And as I was running, God took that opportunity to give me the talking to.  Not out loud, but in my spirit.  And here’s what the conversation sounded like:

God: Becki, you are one of the 9 lepers.

Me: What???  I’ve never been a leper!  And if I was, I would be the one that came back to thank you, not one of the ones that didn’t.

God: No, you’ve never had leprosy.  But just as the lepers called out, you called out in the midst of your obesity and asked me to have mercy on you.  And I did.  I brought you to a point of brokenness where you surrendered to me your desire to eat whatever you want and to not exercise.  You believed me that you didn’t have to be overweight forever.  You were obedient and disciplined in your eating and exercising.  Just like the lepers believed me that I would heal them and they obediently went to the priest when I told them to go.

Me: hmmm … I see the connection about crying out for mercy and you giving it.  I also get that the lepers were obedient to you by going to the priest and I was obedient by tracking my food and exercising.  But, why does that make me one of the nine lepers.  I have thanked you.

God: Have you?

Me: Yes!

God: Have you?

Me: Yes.

God: Have you?

Me: Yes? Well at least I thought I did.

God: Originally you may have.  But lately whenever anyone asks how you lost weight, you never give me any credit.  You boast of all the work you’ve done.  You tell about your faithfulness in logging your food and getting up every morning to exercise.  You talk more about Jillian Michaels than you do about me.  Instead of thanking me, you are applauding yourself.  You have stopped asking me for mercy and strength and started doing things on your strength.  Just like the 9 lepers who didn’t return, you have gone on your own way.

***I have to stress that when I say that God said these things, it’s what I heard in my spirit. I am not trying to put words in God’s mouth.  Many people might just say I’m talking to myself … take it as you may.
 

Ouch!  That was hard to hear.  But like I said at the beginning, God spoke in kindness.

I was rebuked – not shamed.
I was humbled – not belittled.

And the best part, I was then reminded of the song I heard that morning.  “Oh, how he loves us.  Oh, how he loves us.  Oh, how he loves you and me.”  And I knew that God calls me to holiness and obedience.  He desires my thanksgiving and heart.  But his mercy and love covers over my shortcomings and failures and imperfections.  Oh how he loves me!

I was forgiven – not cast off.
I was loved – not despised.

lifewithmisty.wordpress.com

So today, I say Thank You God.  Thank you for hearing my cry for mercy in the midst of my obesity.  Thank you for enabling me to lose weight.  Thank you for the healing you are working in my heart and mind.  Forgive me for taking the credit away from you.  Forgive me for lifting myself above you.  Help me to love you and honor you and praise you with all of my heart, all of my mind, all of my strength, and all of my soul.  I say it again, Thank You God!

Have you cried out to God for something?  Has he heard your cry and given you your request?  If so, are you the tenth leper who returns to thank God? Or, like me, are you one of the nine who goes on their way?  Return and thank him for he is good, his love endures forever!

Pressing on together,

♥Becki

 

Training Tuesday: Priorities

b. Training Tuesday

I can’t believe it’s been almost 2 months since I’ve written a post!  If you have missed hearing from me, I apologize … but life has changed a lot and I haven’t taken the time to sit down and journalize (not sure that’s a word, but that’s what I do!) my feelings through the blog.

Since my last post, I began working outside of the home about 25 hours per week.  Making the transition from stay at home mom for 12 years to working outside of the home mom, in some ways has been really easy and natural.  But in other ways, it’s been a real juggling act.  I’m trying to figure out how to fit everything into my days, but I’m realizing that I continually need to re-prioritize the things that I’m trying to fit in.  And some things, I’ve just had to let go … like writing, for a time.

One of the things that I’ve been determined to not let go and extremely intentional about making sure I fit it in is exercise.  I knew that if I didn’t have a routine established from the get-go that one week without would become one month, which would then become the entire fall, and probably end up being the whole year.  And I knew I could not let that happen after all my hard work.

So I wake up every morning at 6:30.  Say good-bye to my husband who’s heading off to work.  I get dressed in workout clothes (I’ll admit though, there are many nights that I put them on to sleep in), get my oldest up, put a load of laundry in, pack the boys lunches (because frankly I’m too tired the night before to do it), get breakfast for my oldest, send him out the door at 6:55, set out bowls of cereal for the other 2 boys, setting the milk out next to the bowls.  If they are not yet up, I then wake up the other 2 and have them get dressed and eat (pouring their own milk) while I exercise to Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred.  I then put the laundry in the dryer, put a new load in the washer, but usually don’t start it yet.  Hop in the shower, shampoo, rinse, wash, get out, get dressed (if needed, iron the clothes first), turn the washer on, with a wet head, take the boys to the bus stop at 7:45.  I then come back, finally get my cup of coffee, do my hair, put my make-up on.  Enter my workout into My Fitness Pal.   Log on to Facebook to message my 30 Day Shred Accountability Crew that I did the workout.  Fold the clothes from the dryer, move the other load from the washer to the dryer (I’ll fold those when I get home).  Get a second cup of coffee to drink on the way to work, grab some breakfast to eat in the car and head out at 8:40.

Sounds exhausting, right?  But you know what?  It really isn’t.  I feel productive, I love the routine of it, and I love that I get my exercise in.  And I never, ever, regret getting up and doing it.  Even if I’m drop dead tired at 9:00 at night – says the former night owl!

Source: thisblogmakesmybuttlookbig

I try to run at least 3 days in the afternoon or evening, but if my schedule doesn’t allow it, or if like last night, I’m simply too tired, I don’t.  And you know what?  I don’t stress about it, because I think of the running as icing on the exercise cake.  (By the way, when I said, “last night” I really mean now, because I’m writing this on Monday night and scheduling it to be posted on Tuesday morning.  I don’t want you thinking I’m going even crazier now and getting up extra earlier to type a blog!)

I have to admit, I just re-read the post up to this point, and I find myself thinking, “Who am I???”  For those of you who know me well, or maybe you don’t even have to have known me well to know that I hated mornings.  I was not a morning person.  I slept in as long as possible.  Also I resisted, hated, avoided, and came up with every excuse not to exercise.  So it truly is miraculous that I do this every day!  And let me tell you, if I can … then you can find a way to fit exercise into your days too.

If you are struggling doing so, I’d love to offer some tips.

  1. Look at your schedule and see what makes sense for you.  For me, it’s first thing.  I like it that way, because I find the anticipation of working out is worse than actually doing it, so the less I think about it, the better it is.
  2. Find an exercise routine that is doable.  I knew I couldn’t leave my house in the morning since Jeff heads out early.  So I needed something that I could do from my tiny livingroom.  I also wanted quick and effective.  I love doing Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred (click here to go to the video) because the videos are 27 minutes long, I do them from home, so it really is 27 minutes – no drive time to and from the gym, all I need is some space (my living room is tiny and it’s plenty), You Tube to watch the videos and some hand weights.
  3. Find people to help with accountability.  For me this is key.  I posted on Facebook that I was starting the shred and asked if anyone wanted to do it with me.  I then created a message group that we post every day after we worked out.  We sympathize with each other’s sore muscles and moves that are difficult.  We encourage and cheer each other on.  Now I’m pretty sure none of them will yell at me if I don’t work out, but it’s nice knowing that they see whether or not I did.  Most of us have completed the series and have started again.  (The beauty being that you can increase your hand weights to make the exercises more difficult.)
  4. Going along with #3, Get your spouse on board.  Not as your accountability person.  But make sure they know how important it is to you so they are supportive of it in your schedule.
  5. Don’t skip days.  Determine ahead of time which days you will be exercising, and do it.  I find that it is so easy to find an excuse not to exercise and to say, “I’ll just skip today.”  But that truly becomes a foothold to quitting all together.  As Nike used to say, “Just do it!”
  6. Plan things with friends, such as running a 5k, 8k, half marathon, marathon or a biking race or something that you need to be in decent shape for so you have motivation to keep working.  Last month, my friend Emily and I ran an 8k together.  We had it planned for a while, so I knew when I started working that I needed to be ready for it.  We did it, had a blast and got a time we were both excited about!  Now I need something else on my schedule.  Any suggestions?  Anyone want to run a 10 miler or maybe even a half with me????

Once again, I just reread the post for editing purposes, and I still can’t believe these words are coming from me.  I can’t stress enough, that if I can make this work, ANYONE can!!!!  I truly don’t write this in any prideful, look at me, way.  I write it only as encouragement for those who, like I did for 39 years, come up with excuse after excuse of why they don’t exercise.  (Ok, maybe not 39 years, I probably didn’t realize that I should be exercising or active and wasn’t until I was in middle school, so we’ll say 29 years…)

And in my honesty, keeping it real, admitting my imperfections … here’s my struggles right now.  This past week I’ve been eating beyond my calories with eating a lot of sweets, not logging everything, and sometimes not really caring.  Which is scary to me.  Because I need to care.  I had come to a broken point of surrender saying that if I need to log every bite I eat for the rest of my life I will.  But I’m not … and I need to.  I still have more weight to lose.  But even if I didn’t, the way I’m eating right now would result in gaining weight back, not just in maintaining.  So I know it needs to stop!!!!

And my other struggle is that I’m not spending time in the Bible.  More than not spending time in the Bible, I’m not relaxing and being still in the presence of God.  My prayers are quick and I leave no time for listening.  I know just like exercise and logging food, I need to be disciplined in spending time with God.  I truly don’t say that in a self-loathing, condemning way, but in a healthy, convicted way, knowing that things need to change.

So it seems as though even though I’ve got the exercise thing down right now, there’s still lots of imperfection to be worked through!

Pressing on together,

♥Becki

Mothering Monday: Seeing invisible people

a. Mothering Monday

“What happened to your legs?”

Uh oh, there he goes again…

My oldest son has no social boundaries.  He pretty much says what he’s thinking.  We coach him, we practice with him, and think we’re doing a decent job.  But then, out of his mouth pops something, and we just want to hide and pretend he doesn’t belong with us.

I usually blame this on the fact that he has Asperger’s and think of it as something that we need to “work on”.  And yes it is because of that, and yes we do need to work on it.  But, I’m also learning that this is a special part of who he is and maybe I don’t want him to stop altogether.

When he walked right up to the legless man in a wheelchair and asked what happened to his legs, my husband apologized to the man.  But the man waved off the apology and said, “It’s nice actually.  Most people just act as if they don’t see me.”

Ever since the legless man said that, I started watching my son.  He says “Hi” to everyone he sees that’s in a wheelchair, that is dressed in dirty, tattered clothes, that has Down’s or some type of disability, and to the elderly.  He sees them and greets them.  It’s not usually just a quick hi as he passes by.  He stops to talk to them.  Usually it begins with, “What’s wrong with … ” and may not be politically correct or tactful but it’s real and genuine and compassionate.

My son sees the people who the rest of us turn our eyes away from.  He sees the invisible people we ignore.  And I see Jesus in my son.  Because Jesus sees them too.  The gospels are filled with stories of Jesus seeing the lowly and pausing to talk to them, to touch them, to heal them.

So, the Asperger’s may contribute to the fact that my son doesn’t have much tact when he’s talking to people, but it is Jesus that is moving in my son to see people – all people, to reach out to them, to have compassion on them, and to love them.

Now, I just need to figure out how to not dissuade him from talking to people, but to coach him on how to do it without offending.  Which, is what usually keeps me from talking to people in the first place.  So maybe, I just need to let Jesus be his coach and I should just watch and learn … 

Pressing on Together,

♥Becki

Friends and Family Friday: I will stay…

f. Friends and Family Friday

I Will Wait 

by Jeff Kerchner
 
Did you ever think we’d be here
Watching everything disappear
I don’t know if you can hear me now
I don’t know if you can see somehow
 
But I’ll wait and I’ll stay
As long as it will take, for you to know I’ve changed
And I’ll hear what you say
The hurt will be replaced
But from now until that day I will wait
 
Nothing more that I can say
Actions speak louder anyway
I wish you could see into my heart
Then you would know for sure how loved you are
 
But I’ll wait and I’ll stay
As long as it will take, for you to know I’ve changed
And I’ll hear what you say
The hurt will be replaced
But from now until that day I will wait
 
I slipped away slowly, became something that I’m not
But I … I will never blame you, it was me who just forgot
 
But I’ll wait and I’ll stay
As long as it will take, for you to know I’ve changed
And I’ll hear what you say
The hurt will be replaced
But from now until that day
 
I will wait
 
and I will stay
 
 
As long as it will take, for you to know I’ve changed
And I’ll hear what you say
The hurt will be replaced
But from now until that day I will wait
 
The hurt will be replaced
But from now until that day I will wait
 

BEST

APOLOGY

EVER!!!!

My husband and I celebrated our 16th anniversary this summer.  We probably have a pretty typical marriage in that sometimes we’re extremely romantic and lovey dovey, sometimes we’re best friends, but sometimes we’re just roommates.  And like most typical couples, we took each other and being married for granted.  We stopped pouring energy into our marriage.  And the strength of our marriage was tested.  Maybe one day I’ll write more about our trials … but we’re not quite ready for them to be published forever in the cyber world.

But I can say, that we had a choice to make.  Were we going to honor our vow and stay together, or were we going to walk away?  Could we forgive each other and love each other or would we only see each other’s faults and failures?  Could we heal and get back to where we were before?

We chose to stay.

And I’m so glad we did.

And you know what, our marriage as a result was stronger and better than it ever had been.  When you are willing, healing can happen.

I am hearing more and more about marriages failing and falling apart.  I’m praying right now for your marriage, dear reader if you are married.  I’m praying that you would honor your vow.  I’m praying that you would delight in your spouse.  I’m praying that you would be their cheerleader and not their critic.  I’m praying that you would ask for forgiveness when needed and that you would offer forgiveness when needed.  (I’m praying the same for your spouse too!)  I’m praying for peace and patience and joy and love within your marriage.  I’m praying that you would wait and that you would stay!

Pressing on Together,

♥Becki

Northpointe Community Church
Evans Elementary School
Limerick, PA

P.S. If you are local to me (Phoenixville, PA) then I wanted to let you know about a teaching series my church, Northpointe Community Church, is starting in October.

Top Ten Mistakes Married People Make

It should be good!  Click here for more information.

 

 

 

P.P.S (or is it P.S.S???) anyway, thank you Jeff for writing me such an amazing song and for waiting and for staying!  I love you.

Wednesday’s Wisdom from the Word: My brave friend

c. Wednesday's Wisdom from the Word

In the beginning of the summer, my friend did something so incredibly brave, that I am still thinking about it with awe and respect.  To the rest of the world, it went unnoticed.  But not to me.  She didn’t do it for me, but it has had a huge impact on me.

Are you curious?  When you hear brave, do you think of firemen running up the World Trade Center to rescue people?  When you hear brave, do you think of the many people in our military fighting for freedom?  When you hear brave, you probably wouldn’t think of my friend.  But brave, she is.

Back in the beginning of the summer, I got a note from her.  She told me about an area in her life that she was struggling in.  More than struggling, she was really doing something that she knew was wrong, but she didn’t want to stop.  What she was doing was in the moment making her feel good.  But still, it was wrong.

So why do I call her brave?  Because she reached out to me, she opened up to me, she trusted me with her secret.  How hard that must have been!  First of all, we are all very prideful and to admit that we are not perfect, and that we have a “dark secret” is extremely difficult.  No one wants to feel judged!  Secondly, she needed to trust me to keep it confidential.  And lastly, she knew that by telling me, I was not going to say things she wanted to hear.  I was not going to tell her that what she was doing was OK.  And frankly she didn’t want to stop what she was doing.

So what did I do with it?  I thanked her for trusting me.  I encouraged her in walking away from what she was doing.  And I prayed for her.  Later, I followed up with her to see how things were going.  I’d love it if I could say that as soon as she shared her struggles with me, the desire to continue with it was gone.  That was not the case.  But her heart has been changing, and she has removed herself from the situation to prevent her from doing the things that she knew were wrong.  She had said that she had been avoiding prayer and most things that had to do with God because of the guilt that she felt.  But after telling me about it and knowing that I was praying for her, she found herself able return to God as well.

Last Sunday, I sat in church and thought of her as the pastor read from the book of James.

Photo posted by Hannah Mayes at ourdailyblossom.com

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. (James 5:16)

That was exactly what my friend did.  She confessed her sins to me.  It was hard, she probably didn’t want to, but she did.  And you know what, she may not be fully “healed” yet from the desire of the sin, but she is in the healing process.  I didn’t have the power to offer her “heavenly” forgiveness, but I could pray for her and direct her to the one who could.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

I’ve seen, in my own life and in the lives of those around me, how important confession is.  Sin (whether “big” or “small”) can take a hold of us so swiftly and easily when we allow it to.  We like to keep it hidden, to keep it in the darkness, so that we can hold on to it, to keep on doing it.  Or maybe we don’t want really want to continue in it, but we are so ashamed, that we hide it.  And when we hide it, it’s much harder to overcome it.   Through confession, we are bringing the sin from the darkness into the light.  We are calling it what it is, sin.  We are allowing others to support us, and opening our hearts to God, to allow Him to work in us.  And healing begins.

My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins. (James 5: 19, 20)

Thank you, dear friend, for trusting me with your secret.  Thank you for being so brave.  Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your healing.  I continue to pray for you.

And I pray for me and you, dear readers, that if we have secret sin in our lives, that we would be brave like my friend and able to confess it both to a friend, and to God.  To the friend for support, encouragement, and accountability.  To God for forgiveness and healing.

Pressing on Together,

♥Becki