One of my imperfect boys has recently become a really sore loser.  Video games, checkers, baseball, board games, tooth brushing… all of these have lost their appeal as things to do with this particular son because of how angry he gets when he starts losing.  (Yes I meant to include tooth brushing in there, because when you have 3 boys in a household, anything can be a competition with a winner and a loser…)

The activity starts out innocently enough… everyone is smiling and having fun.  But then maybe he gets an out and he didn’t think he should, or someone jumps his checker, or someone puts tooth paste on their toothbrush first.  You can see his anger and frustration rising until he’s yelling at everyone around him.  We send him to his room, we refuse to play with him the next time, we talk about it, we comfort him, and you think, “Ok, he gets it, this will be the last time.”  But then the next time its the same thing.

As his mom, I will admit… it is sooooo frustrating and I don’t enjoy being around him when he’s like that.  Also I get embarrassed when others see it.  (Of course I’m embarrassed because I assume they are judging me as a mom…)

But then one night, after finishing reading our family Bible story, Jeff asked if someone would pray.  Who do you think said they would?  My little sore loser.  And here’s his prayer, “God thank you for such a great day and for all the creatures you made (not sure why, but he always includes that in his prayers).  Help me to not get angry when I lose.”  And a mother’s heart melts.  My little boy knows he’s imperfect but is not content to stay that way and is pressing on to grow into a Godly man!  Love him!

I would love to say that ever since he prayed that prayer that he’s been a good sport.  But that’s not the case.  However, my heart is a little softer knowing that he does not want to do that and God is at work in him!  (And of course I’m reminded of all my short comings that God is working on in me.)

♥Becki (imperfect wife of an imperfect man, imperfect mom of 3 imperfect boys, forgiven daughter of a perfect God.)

P.S.  If you have any thoughts on how to work with a sore loser, I’d love to hear!

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Last week a friend had invited us over to her house to go swimming.   It was so nice – the kids were all in the pool, and the moms sat on the side and chatted.  At one point, I looked over at my smiling, swimming, splashing, 7-year-old Bryan having such a great time.  It reminded me of an article that I wrote 2 years ago for my MOPS newsletter.  I came across it today and thought I’d share it again…

I love summer.  I love going to baseball games (both Bryan’s and the Phillies), having barbecues, going on bike rides, heading to the beach, and spending days at the pool.  Both Bryan (5) and Cole (3) love the baby pools but cling to me for dear life in the deep water.  Swimmies, floaties, life jackets… none of these provide the security they need to relax and enjoy it.   So this year, I decided to let someone else do the teaching and signed them up for swim lessons at Ursinus.  “Our pace will be aggressive and in some cases produce tears.”  Some cases turned out to be both Bryan and Cole.

I know it’s going to be good for them.  I know that once they overcome their fear, they’ll love swimming.  I also know its important for them to know how to be safe in the water.  But that doesn’t make it easier to sit for an hour and watch them scream and cry through their lesson.  How I want to run to them, scoop them up, and rescue them from their instructor who is firmly (although very sweetly) making them do each skill.  It took all my restraint to not run to him when Cole yelled at the top of his lungs, “I want my Mommy!”  Despite how difficult it was, I remained seated, smiled and waved.

When we went home after the first night, I asked who loves them the most in the whole world.  Bryan answered, “You do Mommy.”  “Would I let someone hurt you?”  “No Mommy.”  “That’s right sweetie.  I sat on the side and watched them teach you how to swim because I know how important it is for you to learn.  I won’t let anything happen to you.  I’m right there.  Trust me.  I love you.”

As I was talking to them, I thought how that could be a conversation God was having with any of us. I think He often allows bad situations in our life, not because He doesn’t care, not because He thinks we deserve to be hurt, but because He loves us more than anything.  He sees the end result; we only see what’s happening immediately.  I see my boys in the future laughing, splashing and having fun swimming; they only see this instructor making them do something they are deathly afraid of.  Just as I say to my boys, “Trust me.  I love you.”  I’m sure God is saying to us, “Trust me.  I love you.”  The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

♥Becki (wife of an imperfect man, mom of 3 imperfect boys, forgiven daughter of a perfect God.)

P.S.  I love your feedback and comments and even if I don’t reply to everyone, I read them all!  Also feel free to share any post through facebook or email… I’m still new to this Blog world and figuring out how to let people know it’s here to read 🙂

“Where’s C?” I asked last night as we were walking out the building.  Looking around we didn’t see him, but as we walked back in the building we definitely heard him.  “DAAAADDDDYYYYYYY!”

The realization quickly set in… our almost 5 year-old C didn’t get off the elevator with the rest of us.  I started yelling in the hopes that C would hear me, “Press L!”

We pressed the button for the elevator.  It came but when it opened up, C wasn’t in it.  We could still hear him yelling, “DAAADDDYYYY!”  Jeff yelled back, “Stay there, I’m coming!”

Jeff hopped in the elevator and went in search of him.  I gave my oldest son a stern look as he started laughing.  My middle child’s eyes were huge as he’s comprehending what’s going on.  I wasn’t panicking because I knew Jeff would find him, but hearing the scared screams of your son is hard on a mom’s heart.

The next time the door opened Jeff was there with a very timid little boy.   In all honesty, I can’t remember my reaction when I saw him – what I said or what I did.  All I remember is a few moment’s later Jeff explained why C didn’t get out, “He was playing his DS and didn’t notice us all get out.”

AAAARRRRGGGGHHH!  Those DS’s – as a mom of 3 boys, I have a love hate relationship with them.  They can be a savior on a long car ride and offer some much needed quiet in our home.  But they also can cause many tears – whether due to a child losing at a game or being told to turn it off.  They also can cause our boys to tune out the world around them while focusing on the game at hand.  Which seemed to be what happened to C in the elevator.

Often you will hear me in a parking lot or through a store saying, “No playing the DS while walking.”  But really it has been one of those statements that I never followed through with any discipline or enforcement.  I think I probably learned my lesson about things I’m soft on more than C learned his lesson about when to play his DS.

So what did C learn?  He learned that when he yells for Daddy to save him, Daddy will come.  (Its interesting that C yelled for Daddy and not me, because he really is a momma’s boy.)  As I pondered that in light of pressing on I realized that is exactly what I need to do when I find myself lost, in the wrong place, or doing the wrong thing.  I need to call out to my heavenly Daddy to save me.

Has anyone else lost a child in an elevator?  I like to think I’m not the only one…

I’m a mom of 3 boys and pokemon is big in our house right now.  So when I asked my middle child what type of birthday cake and birthday party he wanted, I was not surprised that he answered Pokemon.  More specifically he wanted a torterra pokemon birthday cake for his birthday dinner and pokeball cupcakes for his friend party.  So I got to work.

We sent out invitations.  We went to Party City for favors.  I searched the internet for ideas and baked and made fondant and colored icing.  (Did you know if you start with strawberry icing and pour in an entire bottle of red food coloring you still only end up with a deep pink icing and not red?)  We bought some masks and made some others.  I created a pokemon obstacle course starting with a giant inflatable ball that they got inside.

I like to go all out for birthdays.  (Not financially but effort.)  Why?  Because birthdays are a chance to celebrate our children.  I’m not celebrating any accomplishments – its not about what they’ve done.  I celebrate because of who they are – my child.  I try not to use the “you better be good or you’re not getting anything for your birthday” or “you better be good or I’m canceling your party” lines.  The gifts and the party are not earned.  Gifts shouldn’t be earned or they are wages or bribes not gifts.  (Since this blog is about being honest through my imperfection, I will admit that despite my intentions, in my frustrations I have threatened to cancel parties or return gifts.  But I’m working on not doing it!) All my boys have to do to have the party and the gifts is show up, open them up and accept them.

I hope you like parties, because God’s got a big one planned for when we go to Heaven.  And its not because of anything we’ve done – its because of who we are.  His child.  All we have to do is accept his invitation (Jesus as our savior) and show up.  For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9)