In the spirit of keeping it real here, I figured for Thursday’s Thoughts on Home.  I’d confess to the fact that my house is a mess!  Not so bad that you’d see me on Hoarders nor would I  quite make the cut for Clean Sweep … although I’d probably be close to that one.

Since I’ve started writing again, I’ve gotten lots of compliments and “how to you do it all?” type of comments.  Well, the answer is, “I don’t do it all.”  And it shows in my home.

My tendency has always been to messiness.  But I can’t relax in a mess, so I desire it clean and I often become grumpy when it’s not.  But frankly right now, it’s messy and I’m OK with that.  I’m OK with it, because right now I know it’s not messy because of laziness.  Between work, exercise, the kids, back to school stuff, spending time with God, grocery shopping, cooking and blogging, there really isn’t much time left to clean.  I’m OK with it because I know that right now, for me, the other things need to come first.

And, of course, there are way worse spots that I could take photos of and post, but my pride won’t let me do it …

So, if you have ever read my posts thinking I am some type of super woman who does it all … may the photos tell the story.

Pressing on together (through the mess),

♥Becki

“What do you know about the sex offender that lives down the street?”  A mom asked me yesterday at the bus stop.

“Umm, what????”

The bus pulled up, I waved good-bye to the boys, and then hurried home to check out the sex offender registry.  I had checked a couple of years ago, but never thought to keep checking it.  Sure enough, diagonally across from me there is a registered sex offender.  It is someone older than me who must have recently moved in with his elderly mother.  I don’t see him there often, in fact I hadn’t realized he moved in.

So, that is a little unnerving to say the least.  Home is a place where I want to feel safe.  I want to go for a run, walk the dog, or let my boys do the same.  When I looked at the details, it says he was convicted of rape back in 1984.  I know he served almost 20 years of an 80 year sentence.  What I want to know is whether it was relational rape or was it a violent stranger rape.  I’d feel a whole lot safer if it was relational, because I have no relationship whatsoever with him!

It was almost 30 years ago.  He would have been in his late twenties or early thirties at the time.  Does that mean he’s rehabilitated or should we still be concerned?  I truly believe that God can totally change a person.  I am nothing like I was just 20 years ago … 30 years ago I was 10, so I’m definitely nothing like I was then 😉  But how do I know if this man has changed?  Oh, I forgot to mention that he was also one of the suspects in a 30-year-old unsolved murder case – a relative of the woman he was convicted for raping.  I wish I didn’t know any of this, if you live near me, I apologize for telling you if you didn’t already know.  Ignorance is bliss!

So what do I do with this information?  Do I keep going on through life like we were before?  Or do I need to make some changes?  Do I let the boys stay home alone like we have occasionally done, or do we need to be there to protect them?  I saw him outside today, but he was getting into his car and driving away, so there was no awkward not knowing how to react to him moment.  But if we are outside at the same time, do I smile and wave and say hi like I would normally do, or do I keep my head down and keep walking?  God, I truly need wisdom and peace on this!

Did I mention that ignorance is bliss?????

So Thursday’s Thoughts on Home is really a question … what do you do when a sex offender lives across the street?  (I definitely would LOVE to hear your thoughts on this one.)

Pressing on together (while I cling to God like crazy!),

♥Becki

Do you ever go into your sleeping children’s rooms and linger while watching them sleep?

I know it’s a common parental thing to do.  But to be honest, I rarely do it.  My oldest son has never been a good sleeper.  As a baby, when he’d finally fall asleep after an hour of rocking him, you never knew if he’d sleep for 15 minutes or 5 hours. (Rarely would it be longer than 5 hours!)  So once he was sleeping, there was no way I was going to go into the room and risk waking him!

Anyway, 12 years and 2 good sleepers later and I still don’t watch them sleep.  But the other night I did.  They looked so peaceful.  I remembered our night-time prayers, thanking God that we were a family and for our home.  And my thoughts strayed to a little boy named Jack.

Jack is a 5th grader in Eastern Europe.  His story is heart-breaking.  Many families have tried to adopt him, but for various reasons (click here to read the full story) it has always fallen through.  There is a family now that is in the process of adopting him, but is lacking the funds to do so.

I learned about Jack through some good friends of ours.  They were hoping to adopt him, but when she became pregnant they became ineligible.   But Jack was still heavy on their hearts.  So they have focused on fundraising specifically to finance Jack’s adoption.  Being musically minded, the husband, Dave, decided to record a Christmas CD to sell.  Having several musically talented friends – including my husband, he recruited their help.  And what he put together is fantastic!  I would recommend it to you to add to your Christmas music collection even if it didn’t help Jack.

But, bonus!  If you purchase the entire album, or even some of the songs, you help Jack get a family and a home!  No more living in an institution seeing the younger children getting adopted while he’s left behind.  And hopefully someday soon, his new parents can linger in his new bedroom watching him sleep peacefully.  How amazing will that be for them and for him!

The album is entitled “Hopeful” and I am hopeful that this will be the last Christmas Jack spends without a family.  The group that came together to make the album called themselves “Pure Religion” from James 1:27 “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”  Check it out.  Buy the album.  Spread the word.  Share this post on Facebook or twitter or whatever.  Help Jack get a home!  Thank you.

CD Baby – http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/purereligion

iTunes – http://tinyurl.com/catkjpa

Google play – http://tinyurl.com/cuj98kr

Enjoy it!  (By the way, Jeff sings Angels from the Realm of Glory, Ode to Joy, and Angels We Have Heard on High.)

Pressing on Together,

♥Becki

↓↓Don’t forget to hit the share button below to get the word out↓↓

In the past week, I got $10 in Amazon gift cards for using the internet, I’ve gotten paid to have a free oil change in both of our cars,  could have gotten paid to order and eat a large pizza for free (but I’m not eating pizza right now, so I passed) and could have gotten paid to buy a bottle of wine (for free) and to test out mattresses.  So what’s my secret?

I’ve signed up to be a mystery shopper.  I always wondered about doing it, but was extremely hesitant.  I mean there are so many scams out there, how do I know what’s legit and what’s not.  So here’s what I’ve determined – there’s no need to pay a fee to sign up.  Many companies will try to get you to sign up as a “gold member” or something for a fee to have access to their job boards.  Perhaps this is legit and you will actually get better “shops” if you do, but I’ve gotten enough shops without paying any fees.  So I don’t recommend or endorse any of those.  A main one that I use is National Shopping Service. They end up contacting me when they have something in the area.

Last week, I did 2 oil change “shops”.  I used both of our cars.  We needed an oil change anyway, so it was perfect.  I was reimbursed the $37.97 for each oil change, plus was paid $8 each for my time.  The payment went directly to my PayPal account.  Some companies will mail you a check instead.  I had to call and make the appointment, go in, observe the cleanliness of the facility and bathroom, time how long it took for my car to be brought in and then how long it took for the oil change.  I had to notice the employees names and if they were wearing a uniform.  After the oil change, I went home and filled out a survey online that took me less than 10 minutes to do.  So easy – love it!!!  So mystery shopper has become one way that I find some extra money for us.

Another way, and I know I’ve talked about it here before, so if you’re tired of hearing about it, no need to continue reading… is Swagbucks.  Today I cashed in 900 Swagbucks for (2) $5 Amazon Gift cards.  Love it!  I use Amazon to buy books for my Kindle, to order coffee for my Keurig, to download music, and to buy lots of other random things.  It takes me about a week to earn one gift card and it’s so easy!  All I do is use the Swagbucks toolbar that I’ve installed on my browser.  That gets me 1 buck a day.  I answer a quick poll question that gets me another buck a day.  I click through a few offers (skipping them, not signing up for anything) and that gets me 2 bucks per pay.  Then I use the Swagbucks search engine when I’m searching the internet or even when I’m just going to Facebook or Yahoo or my blog, I usually get 7-15 bucks twice a day for that.  If that was all I did, it would take me 18 days of about 3 minutes per day to earn the $5 gift card.

But I’ll occasionally play games, watch videos, do surveys, print coupons, find codes and these give me even more bucks.  But then of course, one of the reasons I promote Swagbucks isn’t just because I like you, which I do, it’s because I earn Swagbucks when people sign up from my links and when they earn bucks.  With these, it usually takes me a week to earn the $5 gift card.  Don’t like Amazon?  They have all sorts of gift cards from Home Depot, Fandango, Restaurants, iTunes and more.  They also have merchandise that you can “buy” with your bucks or sweepstakes you can enter for things like an iPad.  I love it, because I’m really not doing anything other than what I’d be doing without Swagbucks.  Difference is I’m getting some of the money from the advertisers instead of google getting it all.  If you click on the “Swidget” at the bottom of the page, it will link you to the site for more info.

So those are just a couple of ways that I try to add some extra to what we have.  If you have some things you do to get extra money, I’d love to hear!

♥Becki

“I never worry about diets.  The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.”  -Mae West

Unlike Mae West, the rest of us probably eat plenty of carrots, especially raw.  Raw carrots and cooked broccoli are the only vegetables that all 3 of my boys are guaranteed to eat without complaining.  So I, like plenty of you, would always pick up a couple of bags of baby carrots at the grocery store.

Then I read something that surprised me… and perhaps it will surprise you too.  Some of the baby carrots are actually carrots bioengineered and then picked at that small size.  But if you buy the petite carrots (the ones that I think taste better) and some of the other ones, you are actually buying regular carrots that have been peeled and chopped for you.  One smart farmer noticed that people wanted uniform looking carrots so a lot of “deformed” looking carrots were never bought and ultimately thrown out.  He then peeled and chopped his deformed carrots and sold them.  They were so popular that he actually sold them more expensive than the regular carrots.  He began using a potato peeler/slicer machine and our obsession with baby carrots began.

If you are like me, you might be saying, big deal.  I like the convenience of the baby carrots.  Agreed!  But just so you know… I’ve heard that they are dipped in Chlorine.  So I researched it a little and “Urban Legends” sums up what I found through various sites:

If I can do it in 60 seconds or less than I will do it right away instead of waiting for later.

That was my mom’s New Year’s resolution.  Now that it’s a month and a half into the year, I should ask her if she’s sticking with it.  Although I didn’t steal her idea for my resolution, I’ve thought about it a lot and I find myself taking that approach – well OK, not all the time or maybe not even close to all the time, but more than I used to!  And here are some things I’ve found that I can do in 60 seconds.

1. Put dirty plates/cups in the dishwasher instead of just the sink.
2. Empty the dishwasher instead of just pulling a cup out to use.  (Not including the utensils, that takes an additional 60 seconds.)
3. Make my bed.
4. Put the toilet paper roll on the toilet paper holder thing.
5. Put the vacuum away instead of leaving it in the living room.   Actually putting most anything away takes 60 seconds or less.
6. Sort through the mail and throw away the junk instead of just putting it on the table.
7. Put the laundry away instead of leaving it folded in the hamper.  (Each person’s takes about a minute.)
8. Fill out a school form and put in their backpack or write the info down on the calendar and throw the paper away instead of putting it in a pile to deal with later.
9. RSVP to an invitation.
10. Reply to an email.
11. Wipe off the counters.
12. Take the trash outside instead of overstuffing the trash can.  (Well, mentally I know that’s true… I don’t think I’ve actually tested this yet… I usually keep stuffing until Jeff comes home and takes it out…)

I’m sure there’s more I can include, but typing this is reminding me of the pile of mail that I dropped on the table including an invitation that I need to RSVP to and the dishes in the sink that I left… so I press on…

…but all of our laundry is put away after I spent 2 hours at the laundromat doing a week’s worth of laundry and all of our beds are made!

♥Becki, imperfect manager of time

P.S. one thing that I definitely cannot do in 60 seconds is to check Facebook or look something up on Pinterest!

P.S.S. In less than 60 seconds you can leave a comment of something you are able to do in 60 seconds or less!

As I’m typing this, a heating guy is here trying to get our heat working again.  We have radiant heat which I absolutely love, but it is original to the house 60 years ago.  We are 1 of 2 or 3 houses left on the block that hasn’t had to switch it over and I’m wondering if I’m going to get the bad news that it’s time…

Which if it’s time, it doesn’t just mean a new boiler, it means a whole new heating system: radiators, baseboards or ductwork.  Although it will be more efficient and if we go for the ductwork and heat pump that means central air too (bonus for this girl who can’t stand to be hot!), we’re talking about $12,000.  Which is about $11,950 more than we have.  ***I said this is a recent post about not having a lot of money – I truly don’t say it to ask for pity – it’s a decision we made – read it here.  But here’s my question / debate: how do you handle these things without accruing more debt?

I’ve been trying very hard not to use the credit card because we have old debt that we are still paying off.  The heating guy told me about a state program for a low-interest loan to take care of it, and that sounds great and is probably what we’ll have to do… but it still adds debt – and another payment which makes it even tougher to get through the months.    I wish I could say, well we can’t do it until we have the money… but we’re not talking about a vacation, we’re talking about heat.  Money was definitely much more fun when I was a teenager working at the local farm store and I spent my money on clothes and movies and things like that!

So since I’m sitting here starting to stress and worry, I know I need to talk to God.  I need to ask Him for wisdom and peace and trust in him.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Oh God, help me to trust you, because I know my own understanding just leads to stress and worry and anxiety…

Your father knows what you need before you ask him. So do not worry, saying ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ … your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today’s trouble is enough for today. (Matthew 6:8b, 31-34)

Thank you God that you know all my needs and my family’s needs.  Thank you for providing for us.  Help me to wait on your provision instead of solving financial problems in a worldly way!

Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

God I do thank you for your love and the numerous ways you’ve proven your trustworthiness.  Thank you God that I have a home for my children.  I pray that it will be filled with warmth – and not just in temperature!  Lord, I ask for your peace as I learn to trust in you.

And I do feel better, but I’d love to admit that the perfect finish for this post would be to say that the heating guy just said it all looks good.  But he’s still working and I don’t know what he’ll say.  But with God, we’ll handle that when we need to!  Thanks for listening to me working through my stress.  I pray that you cannot at all relate to my struggles, but if you do, God’s words are for you, dear reader.   May you find comfort in them as well.

♥Becki

P.S. Jeff, if you are reading… you are an amazing provider.  I am so proud of how hard you work at your job to take care of your family and to help your students – students who wouldn’t be able to succeed in school without someone like you there.  (It’s not your fault that there’s not more money to pay teachers what they truly deserve.)  I’m also very proud of all that you do for God, your extended family, and your friends.  I would rather live snuggled up in a heatless home with you, then in a mansion without you.  I love you!

Money for us is extremely tight.  I don’t say that for pity, we’ve chosen for me to stay home with the kids despite the fact that my husband is a teacher.  (Which by the way considering how important and difficult the job is, is extremely low paying – but that’s a soapbox for another day.)  But anyway, we need new gutters and a new front door and exterior painting and new carpeting and our dryer stopped working.  I’d also love to redo our extremely outdated kitchen and give our bathroom a good overhaul, heck, I’d love to add another bathroom.  And oh, how I longingly linger in the comforter aisles because I’d really like to get a new one for myself and all my boys and new window treatments and new furniture and oh how I want, want, want.

I’ve always said that if money wasn’t a concern, the house is where I’d spend it.  Sure I’d get new clothes and jewelry and shoes and makeup and I’d take vacations.  But the home is where I’d constantly be finding something else I want.  I could spend hours, well probably even days, in Home Goods dreaming up new ways to decorate.  I could waste my life away staring at pictures on Pintrest, and planning my next project.

But then, I wonder what does that say about my heart?  It’s one thing desiring to have a nice, safe, energy-efficient haven to call home.  But really,  how would having the best of everything, perfectly decorated make me happier?  Wouldn’t I just find more that I want?

Last year, my church read a book called Radical by David Platt.  There was a really challenging section about our quality of life, “How Much Is Enough,” and how much money we waste on our homes especially when that money can be used for so much around the world.  I have to say that I read it with almost a “holier than thou” type attitude knowing that we live in a 1000 sq.ft. home and that almost all of our furniture are hand me downs.  I thought that section didn’t apply to me.  But then, ever so gently, God speaks to my heart.   I am not living in this home because I desire to live below my means so that I have more to share with others.  I live here because this is all we can afford.  There’s nothing “holy” about that because in fact if we had more, I’d spend it on our home, not on others.

“But then I realize there is never going to be a day when I stand before God and He looks at me and says, ‘I wish you would have kept more for yourself.’ I’m confident that God will take care of me.” 

― David Platt, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream

So once again, I’m reminded of my imperfections.  But God is so merciful, and he does this so gently, not because He desires for me to dwell in condemnation and shame, but because He desires to grow me into a woman who honors Him with my whole heart.  And so I press on…

“Not that I already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.” (Philippians 3:12)

Sometimes being imperfect can be so tiring… oh how I wish I’ve “already obtained all this”…  But I guess that’s what eternity is for!  So friend, if you’ve read this, or any of my posts, and felt conviction stirring on your own heart, believe me it is not meant to condemn or shame you, but rather to encourage you to embrace your imperfections without settling for them.  Let’s Press On Together!

♥Becki, imperfect woman

An apple scented candle is burning, dinner is cooking in the crockpot, worship music is playing and I have a cup of hot hazelnut coffee.  Life is good, life is peaceful…

Granted, I didn’t make my bed this morning and there is laundry all around waiting to get done.  But there is a load in the dryer and my shower/bath got a scrubbing like it hasn’t in awhile.  So after I just typed that, I thought, “That’s silly, I should make my bed.”  So I quickly made my bed and sorted the laundry sitting here.  It really takes no time at all, why is it that I am sometimes willing to let things go, when it only takes a few minutes to fix it up?

Anyway, I’m sitting here enjoying my coffee and thinking about how a couple of things really makes a huge difference in your home.  You can have the nicest, cleanest home but it feels sterile and cold like a hospital.  On the other hand, you can have a slightly messy home filled with secondhand furnishings but it feels warm and inviting.  (Don’t get me wrong, I know you can have a nice, clean home that is warm and inviting, and I also know that you can have a messy home that feels as though a hazmat group needs to be called in…)  My point is just that perfect doesn’t mean warm and inviting and ultimately peaceful.

So what does?  For me, it is definitely candles.  Candles set a mood, they offer a nice scent, and it seems to say, “Someone made an effort, someone cares.”  And if you remember from a few weeks ago, I was participating in a “Make Your Home a Haven Fall Challenge.”  (Read about it here.)  In that challenge, the author, Courtney suggested that we light candles to set a mood, but also as a reminder to pray for peace in our home.  So I’ve been doing that (although my autistic son gets a little worried about candles and he goes around blowing them out).  So perhaps for him, my peaceful setting is just adding anxiety, maybe I should reevaluate my fondness of candles???

The next week, Courtney suggested adding music to your home.  So I’ve been trying to be more purposeful in having music in the background instead of TV… which I’ve been known to have on in the background all the time.  But the idea is that music can definitely set the mood in your home.  Whether it’s a quiet mood, a fun/lively mood, a reflective mood, or a festive mood… you can create it with music.   For this, I love the cable Music Choice channels, Pandora and Spotify.

Right now, I’m hooked on Spotify.  (Click here to go to Spotify’s site.)  Basically for free, you can listen to any album you like.  Except unless you upgrade, you have to listen to the occasional commercial – but it’s no big deal.  You can create your own playlists… right now I’m listening to our sleep play list, so if all of a sudden there are a bunch of random lettersljkgjalkdfu;gv poufud[awkl’ , it probably means I nodded off while typing. 🙂

Spotify is great, they often have albums the day they’re released.  The problem with Spotify though is you usually need to know what you’re looking for.  If you’re not sure, Pandora is great.  Pandora is an online “radio” in which you design stations based on your music interest.  (Click here to go to Pandora’s site.)  For example if you like Taylor Swift (like me), you can make a Taylor Swift radio station and you’ll hear songs by Taylor in addition to songs that are in a similar genre, like Lady Antebellum or Jason Mraz, so you can get to know other artists as well.  You can also create a worship station.  We have a Chris Tomlin one that I love.

If you haven’t ever listened to worship music in your home, I encourage you to try it.  Why?  Because the lyrics of music get stuck in your head, and as you are going around singing, would you rather be singing something that glorifies God and draws your heart nearer to him or singing curse words about sex or girls kissing other girls???

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.” -Philippians 4:8 – I personally translate “think” to “think, talk, and sing”

I’m not saying that I listen to worship music exclusively, I already admitted to having a Taylor Swift station, but it is the majority of what we listen to.  And the added bonus is listening to your 5-year-old singing, “Savior, He can move the mountains, our God is mighty to save…”

Lastly to me a warm and inviting and peaceful home has coffee anytime you want it.  That’s why I love my Keurig one cup coffee brewer.  For you it might not be coffee, it might be tea, hot cocoa, or hot cider… but there is definitely something comforting about holding a hot mug of something in your hands on a fall/winter day.  Especially a rainy day like today.

Well, the laundry beckons and a friend is on her way over, so I’ll stop my babbling for now.  Thanks for reading.  As always, feel free to share with your friends by clicking one of the boxes below.  Also, I know that candles, music and coffee might not be your thing.  What do you do to make your home warm, inviting, and peaceful?  I’d love to hear.

♥Becki

My house has five people living in it and one bathroom.  I don’t say that to complain… really for the most part, it’s no big deal.  But, a lot of my friends’ homes have 3 or 4 or more bathrooms, so I thought I’d share some insight on how we function in a one bathroom home…

A closed shower curtain makes the shower/bath a separate room, so you should fully expect that there will be other people in the bathroom while you bathe.  Locking the door for a shower is not an option.

If you really have to go, it is important to call “first dibs” on the bathroom before the family starts getting out of the van when you arrive home.

If someone’s business is taking a little longer it is perfectly acceptable for a boy to go outside to pee behind a tree.  It is not perfectly acceptable but might be necessary for a grown woman who has birthed 3 children to pee into a WaWa cup… just saying… or it is perfectly acceptable to ask someone to take a “break” from their business to allow for a quick pee.

When seeing a kit on how to train your cat to use the toilet instead of a litter box, we thought that would be a fun idea… until we realized that would mean we’d have to also share the one toilet with a cat.

You would think that it would be easier only having one bathroom to clean, but there are five people using the toilet (4 of them male, 3 of them with questionable aim), brushing their teeth, washing their faces and hands, showering or bathing, 1 person putting on makeup, 1 person styling her hair, and 1 person shaving his face and head… so there’s a LOT of grime to clean… So I’ve learned to accept that my bathroom is not going to be the sparkling, beautiful guest bathroom that I see in a lot of my friends’ homes.  That’s OK… it just needs to be functional, well functional and sanitary and perhaps sometimes the sanitary level is questionable.

After 7 years of living here with only one bathroom, I can honestly say that I would be completely content if this is our forever home.  Really, I don’t need more.  Because having too many people for one toilet is a good problem to have 🙂  But if anyone ever feels like adding a bathroom to our home or giving us a home with more bathrooms, I wouldn’t complain…

So that’s all for today, nothing too deep or profound – just a glimpse into my life.  And most likely when Jeff (my husband) reads this he’ll tell me how it definitely was TMI!

♥Becki

P.S.  This is the same bathroom that I fixed the sink awhile back.  Guess what??? It still works!  Yay.  (If you’re wondering what I’m talking about, you can read the story here)