The house is so quiet.  How I’ve often longed for quiet instead of the noise of rowdy boys. So why do I want to cry?  It’s a strange feeling having all of them gone.  Am I happy?  Not really.  Am I sad?  No, I don’t think so.  Well, maybe.  But I think it’s more of an unsettled feeling.

Have I done enough to prepare them for the world without me?  Will they feel sad, lonely, inadequate, scared?  Will their teachers build them up or unknowingly tear them down?  Will they pick friends that I would pick for them?  Will they have friends?  Will anyone tell them to wipe the jelly off their face after they eat lunch?  Will the work be too hard for them and leave them frustrated.  Will the work be too easy for them and not teach them to work their hardest?  Should I have done more?

Oh God, thank you for my boys.  Thank you for entrusting them to me.  Forgive me for not being a perfect mother.  Forgive me for how often I’ve yelled at them, when you’ve asked me to have patience and gentleness.  Forgive me for allowing them to watch too much TV and play too many video games when you’ve asked me to have discipline.  Forgive me for saying belittling things to them when you’ve asked me to have kindness and self-control.  Forgive me for wishing days away when you’ve asked me to have joy.  Forgive me for not reading the Bible with them when you’ve asked me to have faithfulness.  Forgive me for worrying about them when you’ve asked me to have peace.

Thank you God, that You have told me in 1 John 1:9, that You are faithful and just to forgive my sins and purify me from all unrighteousness including all my failures and shortcomings as a mom.  Thank you God, that you love my boys like crazy and will never leave them or forsake them.

God, I’m begging you, pleading to you for my boys.  Please, please, please, keep them safe.  Please, please, please give them joy if they feel sad.  Give them confidence when they feel inadequate.   Give them peace if they feel scared.  Allow them to feel your presence when they are lonely.  Please, please, please surround them with friends that will encourage them and walk with them on a path of righteousness.  Please, please, please help them to make good choices.  God, I know that problems and trials help us develop endurance and endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.  (Romans 5:3-4)  But they are so young.  Everything in me wants to cry out asking for them to not have any problems and trials, but I know that is not best for them.  So, please, please, please be gentle and merciful with any problems and trials that you may allow in their lives.

Please help my 6th grader to not be swallowed up by the middle school, to find joy in his days, and to have at least one friend at school.

Please help my 3rd grader to not be too hard on himself when he’s not perfect and to make new friends (I can’t believe he doesn’t have any friends in his class!!!).

Please help my 1st grader to adjust easily to the long days of school and to not get overwhelmed in the cafeteria at lunch time.

And, please help me to trust them to your care.  Thank you God for hearing me and loving me and having compassion for me as a mom.

Pressing on together,

♥Becki

Oh, and God, if it’s not too much to ask, could my boys never complain when doing homework, and could they wake up each morning in a good mood and get ready for school without me rushing us all around, and could we never miss the bus… 🙂