Friends & Family Friday: Funerals

Yesterday morning I went to my cousin, Jimmy’s funeral.  Jimmy was a cousin that I didn’t know very well – my dad was 1 of 7 kids and his siblings all had lots of kids and this was my youngest cousin on my Dad’s side, so he was not who I really talked to at reunions, weddings, funerals and such.  He was 21 and died Sunday unexpectedly and tragically when he fell into a ravine while hiking.  I can’t imagine (nor do I want to try to) my aunt’s grief and pain.  When I found out that he had died, I was shocked, saddened and then thought, “This is a bad week for me to have to go to a funeral.”


That’s right, I’m ashamed to admit that was one of my first thoughts.  Tomorrow I am leading a training retreat for the leadership team of my MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group.  It might not seem like a big deal, but it is a 9 hour agenda filled with training, bonding, and planning for the upcoming year.  I try so hard to make it fun, informative, and memorable in a good way.  I still had a lot of work to do on getting ready for the retreat.  And I didn’t think it was a good time to “fit in” a funeral.  It’s strange really how my aunt’s and my cousins’ whole lives have completely changed in an instant and I get a little stressed about an “inconvenience.”  Kind of like when I get really frustrated about sitting in traffic for 45 minutes and being late  to something when the reason for the traffic was a horrific accident and a family’s life is shattered…

But I went to the funeral and am so glad I did.  I am thankful for my family, all of them, the ones I’m close to and the ones I’m not.  Because I know when it comes down to it, we are family, we love each other, we have a bond, and I know that they would all be there for me if I would ask them to.

In the past, I have skipped funerals because of my schedule, and I have regretted it.  I have not called or sent cards to offer condolences because I didn’t know what to say, and I have regretted it.  I have not visited or called someone whom I knew was going to be passing soon because I didn’t know what to say or if it would be welcome, and I regretted it.  I let me self-centeredness keep me from doing what is right and being focused on the important things.  But… I have never regretted doing any of those things when I did do them.  (Lord please help me to think of myself less and others more.)

So now, I’m sitting down to type this because as it turned out I was able to get everything ready for the retreat despite going to the funeral.  My week actually wasn’t as stressful as I thought it would be and have been able to enjoy a lot of it.  I wish it could be the same for my aunt, my cousins and Jimmy.

♥Becki (imperfect wife of an imperfect man, imperfect mom of 3 imperfect boys, forgiven daughter of a perfect God.)

P.S.  I love your feedback and comments and even if I don’t reply to everyone, I read them all!  Also feel free to share any post through facebook or email… I’m still new to this Blog world and figuring out how to let people know it’s here to read :-)



2 thoughts on “Friends & Family Friday: Funerals

  1. I like your honesty. I know everyone can identify whether they admit it or not. I am sorry for your families sudden loss.

  2. Hi Becki. I am sorry to hear about your cousin. Boy, can I relate to this too. I have a large family on my mom’s side and between my 2 jobs and how spread out my family is over the Delaware Valley (ok, not a huge radius like other families, but from Downingtown to Jersey can be a long one) You aren’t the only one with those thoughts.

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